


Free Verse Poems

by Psychological_Remedy



Series: My Bad Poetry [1]
Category: No Fandom, Original Work, Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Free Verse Poetry, Mentions of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, Poetry, Romance, gay relationship, mentions of suicidal behaviors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 13:41:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychological_Remedy/pseuds/Psychological_Remedy
Summary: These are some poems I’ve written and decided to publish for some reason. Most of them are for my amazing girlfriend, Rose.





	1. Photographs

I don’t take pictures of people  
Or events  
Or moments.  
I like to live in them,  
Have all my attention placed into the emotions  
And thoughts  
And experience.  
I never take pictures of you  
Because I don’t want to take my focus  
Away from you.


	2. Popcorn

I remember the first time  
We went to the movies.  
It was our first date.  
You bought me  
A large buttered popcorn  
While I paid for your soda.

When we sat down,  
You rested your head on my shoulder  
While you wound your fingers  
Through mine.

I didn’t eat a single piece of that popcorn.  
I didn’t want  
To let go of you.


	3. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Transphobia and bigotry.

I contemplated introducing you  
As Matthew to my family.

To my distant relatives,  
My fundamentalist grandparents.  
The ones who would refuse  
To accept you as human.  
As anything other than sin.  
I thought I would be protecting you  
If I lied.

But the second I tried to form the word  
‘Boyfriend’  
In my mind,   
I felt god-awful.  
Because that’s not you.  
That’s not you at all.  
And I realized I’d just be hurting you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context: My girlfriend Rose is transgender (MtF).


	4. Message From Home

I keep looking at my phone,  
Waiting for a message from you  
That I know won’t be coming for a while.  
But that doesn’t stop me from looking.

I keep my phone out on my desk,  
Like I always do,  
Waiting for you to say ‘good morning’   
Or ‘I love you’  
Or ‘you’re cute’.  
I keep staring at my phone.

I want to text you,  
Tell you how much I love you,  
How proud I am of you,  
How amazing you are.  
But you can’t hear me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context: My girlfriend is at Boot Camp right now. She left last week, and won’t be back until January.


	5. Self-Image

I don’t understand   
How you could love me.

You say I’m cute,  
Smart,  
Beautiful,  
But I don’t get it.  
I’m none of those things.

You always seem sad  
When I tell you   
You’re wrong about me.  
I don’t get that either.

But who am I to complain?  
You always hug me tighter  
And kiss me more when I disagree.


	6. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: direct mention of childhood sexual abuse. I would skip this one if you’re sensitive to the topic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first poem not revolving around Rose.

Every single time  
I try to talk to my mom  
She gets angry  
Or doesn’t care.  
I told her I was molested at twelve  
By my step-cousin,  
And she didn’t say a word.

I still like her more than my dad.  
She didn’t leave.  
She pretended to care  
For most of my childhood.  
My mom was so good  
She fooled me for the longest time.


	7. Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is a poem discussing suicidal thoughts and suicide methods. I would skip this if you’re sensitive to the topic.

Some days  
I’m surprised I haven’t  
Killed myself yet.

My thoughts towards the act  
Haven’t changed.  
The desire still lingers  
In the back of my mind,  
Waiting for another moment  
Of weakness  
To strike.

But every time  
I grab the knife  
And hold it close to my skin,  
Ready to slice open my wrists  
And stain my bed sheets crimson,  
Something always stops me.

All my life,  
It’s always been friends  
Who pull me away from the edge.  
Thinking of my friends  
And how it would hurt them  
If I left.  
Faith,  
Ethan,  
Leilu.  
Others, too.  
But those three were the big ones.

But recently it hasn’t been them.  
I mean,  
Why should they care?  
I’m worthless.

Recently it’s been you.


End file.
